How big is a hole?

Difficult to answer, its a “piece of string” question in a way, one thing is sure though, there isn’t a hole anywhere in the entire solar system, or beyond, that is bigger than the hole in my life after having said goodbye to my old hound, after 15 years together.



There are probably many words to describe how I’m feeling right now, but I cant think of a single one to describe the feelings of emptiness and total desolation that I have. For 15 years, through divorces, house moves, break ups and emigration he was the one constant. He chose me when I went to the kennels to find a dog, and I’ve never regretted his choice. Wonderful nature, calm, placid but if he ever needed to show teeth, he did so.

I’ve known for a little while that “the time had come” but to actually make that call, to physically take that decision to end his life, was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I have been desperately hoping that I’d come downstairs one morning and find that nature had done the job for me, but it wasn’t to be, and so I had to show him the ultimate act of kindness.

I would like to place on record my thanks to the lovely Laure, the vet who came to the house and did the deed. She is the most wonderful person around animals and Monty was unworried and at home for the final act. The vet, like a lot of organisations these days, prefer to do everything in house but because they’ve known The Boy for the last nine years, and because all of our animals are there, and because the daughter did a “stage” there too, they agreed to come out and do it at home.


This is the last photo I have of him, taken this morning on our last walk. It probably sounds ridiculous to say, but I’m honoured to have been part of his life for the last 15 years, I couldn’t have had a better companion.

Sleep well Monty.


About bobleponge216

Elderly rotund toothless male seeks wilderness to travel to.
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3 Responses to How big is a hole?

  1. verypleather says:

    Hard to type through tears but thought I’d leave public condolences. He looks like a smashing dog and friend.
    I dont know if this is about dog bereavement but it seemed fitting
    “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” – Vicki Harrison
    Thinking of you


  2. It is very hard to do. We’ve had many animals in our lives and I can swing thru my life as a child and adult and tell you about the good and bad things in life I’ve survived, and which animals went thru it with me.
    I’m pleased to say my kids are much the same.


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